If you’ve been on TikTok in the last couple of weeks, you probably saw the “male best friend,” videos that are trending. For those of you who haven’t yet seen the trend, girls have been making videos to Lana Del Rey’s “Norman F*cking Rockwell,” with text overlay explaining why they know their male best friends view them as just friends and nothing more. Most of the videos I have seen have largely been girls detailing the ways their male friends explicitly mistreat them, like by calling her unattractive or gross, not extending common courtesy, or just being rude. It got me thinking about how important it is to have healthy, real friendship in our lives and the true value of good people.
Any friend who takes up time and space in our lives should treat us with dignity, respect, and love. Friendships are for companionship and fun, and they truly set the tone for our level of enjoyment in our lives. Most of us have probably heard the saying “you are the five people you spend the most time around, choose wisely,” and it’s true! The community we surround ourselves with influences who we are, what we care about, and whether or not we feel like we belong.
Finding people who not only support and appreciate you, but also challenge you to be better and grow is extremely important.
I have been fortunate enough to grow up with three siblings who always challenge me to be better. My oldest brother Jacob is extremely hard working and has helped me launch my businesses while simultaneously running his own. He is my best friend and the person I trust more than anyone in the world.
My older sister, Micaela, is an activist and cares deeply about the pain of others. She has made me more compassionate and helped me to see outside of my own perspective.
My youngest brother, Caden, is a really good friend to his friends. He’s the first person to do them a favor or make sure they have what they need. He’s also just an all-around good guy, and I’m starting to really like hanging out with him as we are getting older. My siblings are also my greatest confidants and have set the example for what I should look for in my friendships. As a result, I have a community of people who support me, are honest with me, and push me to be my best.
Finding good people is trial and error. Sometimes you will end up with friendships that don’t fit quite right, and that’s okay. It’s important to let those people go with love and light so that there is room in your life for people who do fit just right. It can be sad and challenging letting people go, but I promise it all turns out for the best.
I want to encourage you all to find friendships that are healthy and supportive, because life is too short to be spent with people who don’t treat you right. If you’re questioning whether or not your friendships are the ones for you, ask yourself, “Does this person treat me like a brother or sister? Do I feel appreciated, respected, and supported in this friendship?” If not, leave, and find your people. I promise they’re out there. <3