If you’ve been watching my content lately, or reading this blog, you know that I am making a real effort to take better care of myself. I’m still young, but I am learning how much value there is in pouring your energy into yourself—mind, body, and soul.
I’ve been cooking more, spending more time with people who make me feel like I belong, taking time away from the internet, and reading. Everyday, I feel like I move a little closer towards the version of myself that best serves my purpose, and it’s the most amazing feeling.
It’s a practice though, and it’s never perfect. I think it’s easy for people to see what I put online and take it at face value. They see one meal that I eat in the day, or one photoshoot, or one hard moment and suddenly they think they know me. The truth is that my life is made up of a million moments that most people don’t see. Some of them are amazing, and others are difficult. I’ve found that the key to enjoying it all, learning from it, and growing from it is gratitude.
I think when people say the word “gratitude,” they think of Thanksgiving, or a yoga class, or forcing themselves to be positive when they’re growing through something difficult. While Thanksgiving, yoga, and choosing to see the brighter side when possible are all examples of where gratitude can be found, I think the daily practice of gratitude actually goes much further than a day, a class, or a positive outlook.
True, beneficial gratitude happens when we are able to take each experience and let it affect us. It can be easy in today’s world to close yourself off, to say, “I’m not going to let anything in, because I’ve been hurt.” It can feel safer to shut yourself off, but you end up missing out on all the wonderful things life has to offer if you refuse to let it in. For as long as I can remember, my mom has told my siblings and me: “You are exactly where you need to be right now. You have to trust in the process.” So I keep that in mind too and tell myself, “I am exactly where I am meant to be right now.” That’s where gratitude begins, when we can say, “Okay, this might hurt, it might be hard, but it’s going to lead me where I need to go,” and allow the twists and turns of our lives to take us in directions we never thought possible.
I’ve been reading Home Body by Rupi Kaur and would highly recommend this book to anyone who is making a genuine effort to create the life they are dreaming of. I’ve learned a lot in the last year about how to design my life—and the truth is that the foundation starts within. I can’t achieve the things I want to, or feel the way I want to, without first making sure that I am tending to myself. My favorite poem in the book so far has been the one below, that encourages us to first see ourselves through our own eyes, and to remember that if we’re happy with what we see, that’s all that matters.
So wherever you’re at in your journey of self, remember that it is in fact a journey and not a destination. It’s not a place you magically wake up in one day where everything is fine and nothing hurts. There will always be pain, but there will also always be love, light, laughter, and growth too. If the pain takes hold of you and you stumble, that’s okay. Get back up and try again, and again, until you’re back up and running in the direction of the things that reciprocate your energy. Practice your ability to be grateful for the hard lessons, the stumbles, the scars, and watch where that gratitude takes you, you might be pleasantly surprised.<3
